today i finished the first season of game of thrones and realised i forgot to download the second season hence i am left with nothing to live my remaining days for
“i am daenerys stormborn of house targaryen, of the blood of old valyeria. i am the dragon’s daughter, and i swear to you that those who would harm you will die screaming.”
went for a job interview a few days back and was offered a full time position as a layout designer but because of school starting in august they were like oh no and i was like oh my god what the hell. is this a blessing in disguise or karma – only time will tell. on scale of 1 to sylvia plath i am somewhat upset though
i am confined in the present with barely any latent notion of space and time that lies ahead. which is confusing and suffocating but learning to cope seems like the only reflex in the fabric of being.
yuck tonight is so quiet like i can hear the fan spinning and the clock ticking and myself breathing and all of this happening simultaneously how very stressful during times like these everything makes me sick
do u feel me
feelings also happen because one cares too much
I have a lot of feelings. Like, mountains of feelings. And regardless of what people might say, they are not flimsy or aimless — I feel on purpose and with purpose and I don’t take kindly to people who say I’m emotional because I’m a writer or an artist or an attention-seeker or because I was never able to fully shake the teenage-screamo-music-angst from my skin. I feel in big, sleep-consuming ways; this isn’t something I can shake and I don’t think it’s something that I need to or have to or should shake. It’s who I am and I’m proud of the fact that I feel so much.
The simple truth is that I like feelings. I like how they make me feel alive and connected to things and people. I like how they make me feel like more than just skin and synapse, more than just another pulse…
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the entire day i have been thinking about asking people if they wanted to take a quick look at my intestines but i know i can’t because people don’t usually go around asking other people if they want to see their innards. i feel myself coming back but i don’t feel like coming back i just want to stop wasting everyone’s time and sit on the toilet floor alone
i just read what i typed and i don’t quite understand it and i feel like i need to go out and talk to someone but i don’t know who to call and what to talk about. they might feel that i am being really random and it might creep them out or they might ask what happened and i will have to explain myself. i don’t like explaining myself it makes me feel untrustworthy but then i put myself in the shoes of others and i probably wouldn’t trust me too.
this is absolutely amazing. can’t deal with anything right now