To Whom it May Concern:
I recently graduated from college with a GPA that is without a doubt going to be the only impressive part of my resume and if that doesn’t impress you, you should probably stop reading now to avoid the humiliation I will surely suffer in trying to make my useless summer jobs and work experience sound like something worthwhile.
Great, let’s get this over with.
Perhaps the most important quality I would bring to the position is a genuine love for reading and writing. (This, at least, is true). Please hire me because I like books. Yes, so do four-year-olds, I know. But I REALLY like them. WAH. I am especially excited about applying to (insert name of company which I just had to click back three times to the website of to finish spelling) because I very much admire the works you…
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