for now

he has too much fear, so much that he is driven to enact the thing of which he is afraid, lest it should happen of its own accord

i cannot say much, for there is no reason to. but when i feel like there is a reason for it, i lose all sense of articulation. and it is frustrating. ultimately all that i need/want to say ends up being rehashed into “newer” baggage that i should have made sense of and acted on a long ago. basically i don’t know what i wait for and this is one of the many problems that i still fail to understand about myself. unfortunately, these cycles that i exist in somehow cause physical fatigue very comfortably. they know how i function better than i do…and it’s so hard to catch up.

i’m still working on how to procrastinate less.

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