the hardest seasons are the ones that occur from time to time, when you think you are paying attention to details but then the probability of colliding head on with the element of surprise still sweeps you off your bad footing. and then you end up strangling yourself. it is not ok, you tell yourself. of course it isn’t. but before we move on, where is the instructional manual that guides you through beating out the hurricane from your windpipe?
Not revealing it causes you anguish, but how can revealing it not cause you more?